Tell her she can't have a vagina
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
