No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
