garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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