Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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