i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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