So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
