weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
