Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
