I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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