he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
