Yo dont text me then not text me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
