Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Girls should come with a carfax report
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
