theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
A bitchslap is in order.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
