I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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