Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Someone shattered a urinal.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So much rum. So many feels.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
