i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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