does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
