I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
