I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
