WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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