but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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