I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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