Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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