doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize