weddingsv make me drug and hornr
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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