the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
