There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
