Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
