Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
