so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
