i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
