My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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