I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
