i think my mom watched the whole time
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
