You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
