38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
