im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
