So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
