I'm really into asian looking animals
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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