I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
