i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
