Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
