My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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