so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
accomplished twins. life is a go
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
