sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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