so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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