I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
