hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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