one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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