my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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