If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just google imaged poop.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
