i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
