You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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